Jerked Around Like A Dog On a Leash

I was in the gym on Christmas eve getting a last workout before the caloric bomb that is the family dinner and impending New Years parties. While there I had a reaction that has only occurred to me once. There was a woman a couple of machines down that made me want to club her on the head and drag her home by her hair–yes a neanderthal reaction. Ugg, me caveman you girl. This woman just created a reaction of utter physical lust far beyond the normal “oh she’s attractive/cute”. I remember getting home later (no I didn’t talk to her, I couldn’t conjugate near her) and shouting “damn! damn! hot! f!#k! f!#k! hot! HOT HOT! Damn!”. Such a primitive reaction while, I must admit, fun at times can be really annoying at others.

When visiting Hawaii a couple of years ago I was on Waikiki beach at 6am in the morning, I was still on East coast time. I was enjoying that the beach was living up to the expectations, as high as they were, that everyone set for it. Beautiful beach. Beautiful distant butte (mountain/hill). Gentle lapping waves of crystal blue waters. As blue as what the sky would become when the sun rose. But then across my field of vision from right to left, an attractive women jogged by in a halter top jerking my attention away from the beautiful scene. The honest truth is I resented that. Not the women who is just getting exercise, no. No, I resented mother nature’s hormones “jerking me around like a dog on a leash”, to quote my friend John. All I wanted was a quiet time on the beach enjoying what I’ve traveled so far to see. Sometimes the moment one is in is so singular that you don’t want to leave it. Clearly natural selection deemed the hormonal reaction more important than the cerebral.